20 years or so of Bipolar

It was in 1990 that I was officially diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I wasn't given a certificate or anything, but the doctor definitively gave me that diagnosis. I knew that I had some sort of condition years before, but this was when I became truly aware. Being diagnosed with a mental illness is not like being told you have strep throat and being given an antibiotic. You can't take a drug and in a few weeks be magically cured. With mental illness it is a life long process of doctors, medications, education and more.

The date that started my ten week stay in various psychiatric hospitals was August 11, 1990. Thankfully since I exited the last of the 3 hospitals on October 23, 1990 I have not had the need to return. Does this mean that life has been simple since then? Definitely not simple at all. There have been many romantic relationships over the years that have not lasted including a failed marriage. I became an elementary school teacher only to find out after 7 years of full time teaching that this really wasn't the career for me. Leaving teaching I decided to try my hand at working as a Realtor, but I found that I don't like banging on people's doors and need a more structured job. I worked as an independent contractor doing general accounting for a friend for a while, but as of late last year he no longer needed my services due to lessening of his client base. I am still on call with him, but he hasn't needed me for quite a while. In case you didn't know, the job market isn't exactly stellar right now so looking back maybe teaching wasn't so bad after all.

Many of my problems are not limited to someone with a mental illness. This is where sometimes it is hard identifying if am I experiencing a situation that is part of being bipolar and having a manic or depressive episode or am I just experiencing the challenges of life. Being elated over getting a job or sad for losing one are quite normal. If these feelings last excessively long this can be an issue. If I either decide that I can suddenly be elected King of the World or that I am completely unemployable then these are mental illness issues. Unfortunately things are usually not that clear and there are subtle nuances one must learn to identify when feelings are going a bit awry.

As you can see even after having knowledge of this condition for nearly 20 years I am still learning more and more about myself. One of the best things one can have when dealing with any mental illness is having an excellent support system. I have been blessed with having supportive friends and family over the years and now a very wonderful fiancee who is there whenever I need her. The challenges will continue, but I can confidently say that I can succeed and when it is all over I plan on being able to say that I did it my way!