Superficiality

How come it seems to take events like the earthquake in Haiti for people in this country to think about something other than the happenings on Jersey Shore or The Real Wives of Orange County? As someone who suffers from a mental illness I recognize that we need our outlets in life. We need something that will make us laugh and not think about our travails in life.At risk of sounding like an old fart I am to think back to my childhood and the good old fashioned boob tube. As the t.v.'s have been getting bigger so does it seem to be the amount of boobs on that tube. One of my favorite shows was Happy Days starring Ron Howard and Henry Winkler. This was not an intensely deep show, but it did feature a somewhat functional 50's family with typical challenges. There was silliness with overly cool Fonz, the naive and innocent Richie, comedically challenged Ralph, and silly singer Potsie. Life issues though came up in many episodes. Whether it was the Fonz learning he didn't have to always act cool, the effect of drinking on Richie, unrequited love of Joanie towards Potsie, and standing up to "gangs" that were out to hurt Richie and his pals. The show was a bit masogenistic with the way the girls ran to the Fonz and how they dressed, but this is nothing like what we see on t.v. today. I will discuss a few because if I mentioned everyone that is out there today this would become a novel rather than a blog.

There is a young woman on t.v. named Heidi Montag whose only fame I understand is from being on a reality show based on living in a beach town. She has gone from being a pretty girl next door to a plastic surgery enhanced woman who looks like she should be auditioning for Heidi does Hawaiian Gardens. Apparently her breasts have been changed from a reasonable C sized chest to a gargantuan DDD and her behind and other parts of her also have been adjusted. Now, I admit that I enjoy looking at an ample bosom as much as the next guy and maybe a bit more, but what is going on in this country that we look to bimbettes or overly stereotyped Guidos to watch. This has become the modern freak show with the "freaks" lining up to be watched instead of the circuses hunting them down.

I am getting the feeling that having this kind of entertainment is like opening Pandora's box. We may never be able to go back to a time when in depth news was revered and talented writers and performers were looked up to. However, can't we strive to do better? I know there are definitely quality shows out there trying to make a difference. I personally enjoyed the show V and look forward to it coming back as it questions a lot of assumptions towards "aliens" as well as our desire for a savior. This also is special to me as I was a kid when the original came out. My desire is that my 5 year old daughter will have young women to look up to that have quality characters. Her mother and teachers are my first hope, but of course I know that entertainment does have a strong influence on the youth. The trick is directing her towards the proper examples without forcing it so she rebels. All I can do is present her with values that strengthen her as a being and always be available for her. It is going to be a challenge, but one that is extremely important in this world which is becoming more and more superficial.

Yes, I have bipolar disorder.

I have always felt it is very useful to share experiences in order to realize that we are not alone. When I see we I am not referring to just those of us who suffer from being bipolar, but all of us who deal with the challenges of being human beings in this ever confusing world. I was 21 when I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I had a sense when I was younger that something was amiss, but not sure what it was. I was always an emotional child with nervous habits and I could tell that made me different than other children. However, I had no clue what bipolar disorder was and just figured that many of the challenges I faced were because I wasn't able to utilize my intelligence and abilities to the level other students were. In essence my problems were all my fault and under my control.

Even when I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder it didn't make me feel much better. I figured that now I had a name for what was wrong with me, but all this meant was that I had a reason why I was a failure, but I was still a failure. I scored 1220 on the SAT exams and had always performed well on intelligence tests. However, in high school I had a g.p.a. of approximately 2.6 and about the same so far in college.

What helped me the most was getting to know others that suffer from bipolar disorder. Sitting in a room of 20 or so fellow sufferers at a bipolar support group and hearing similar life stories gave me plenty of comfort. I recall being at a meeting where a guy asked the group if they had done anything similar to what he did. I saw 80% of the hands go up and could see the utter shock on his face, but at the same time he clearly was comforted.

As I continue writing this blog I will share experiences from throughout my life that have affected me as a person. This is because I am not bipolar, I am a person who has bipolar disorder. This is a disease that has and will affect me throughout my life, but one that I can make the most of. My life has definitely been a challenge and I look forward to living each day and moment to the fullest.