I was thinking about what impact I want to make on the world because my friend Paul wrote in his blog (http://reflectionsofafreewayflyer.blogspot.com/2010/02/technology-pt3-will-anyone-remember-you.html#) comments about technology in regards to what access our descendents will have to info on us and whether they will search out the info. I have been aware ever since my early years in college about how our unintentional or intentional actions can drastically alter our or other's lives. In 1992 I was invited to an ex girlfriend's wedding. We were still good friends obviously so I decided to go. I wasn't dating anyone at the time so I decided to take a young woman named Karen who I had become friends with at my work. My friend James didn't have a date so he went along with me. At one point I got tired of dancing and asked James to dance with Karen in my place. At the point, as the saying goes, apparently sparks flew because within the next two years they were married. They now have three kids. This is an unintentional consequence to my actions. I wasn't trying to be their matchmaker, but it still happened. So what do I have to do to make intentional differences in other's lives?
I have a five year old daughter that I dearly love and adore. Whether it is on the playground or with her reading I encourage her to never give up and that she needs to make an effort before deciding that she needs help or can't perform the task. This has had an effect on me that was unintentional. If I tell her to not to give up then I have to do the same in front of her. How can I throw a challenging Sudoku aside or not try to fix her toy without clearly being a hypocrite. The answer is I can't nor do I want to. I want my daughter to see that there is no harm in making efforts at tasks because that is the only way to determine if they are ones you want to continue doing. This is the way that she will challenge herself without feeling that if she doesn't succeed that she is some sort of failure.
This has already had positive effects on Hannah. She had asked for me to help her climb up a jungle gym and instead I stood there as support when she needed it and encouraged her to climb on her own. Hearing Hannah yell, "I did it!" brought warmth to my heart. What way is this going to affect her life? I truly do not know any specifics, but I do know that it will help her to be more independent. Independence is my goal for Hannah and what I think parenting is about. Teach your child positive values then work to prepare them so they can live independently.
If there is some sort of afterlife I don't need to look down on my descendents and hear them tell stories of how I did this and I did that. I want to be able to look down and see the actions that my child does is because I gave her the tools to be successful. I was there to show her that someone loves her very much. I am there to help her see that she can stand up for herself because she is deserving of respect. This is not something at age 5 or 15 I can tell my daughter and have it sink in. This is something I must create by my actions and encouragement. From there the people that she connects with will be affected by her behavior whether she has children or not. The respect that is taught to one person can expand exponentially if it is sincere. If
I raise that confident, loving, and encouraging child that I already see then I know I am remembered whether in name or not.
This is the same thing that I have to tell myself as a teacher. I will not necessarily see immediate results from the things that I am doing, and the impact that I have on a student who gets a "D" in my class may be greater than on the one who gets an "A." The facts probably won't stick with them. If they leave with a greater impulse to learn or they come away with a better work ethic, then I have accomplished something that will stick with them.
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