Why do I care so much about what other people do?

This video is from don Miguel Ruiz author of The Four Agreements and other books on Toltec wisdom. His books have helped me see my life more clearly.



When someone I am with comments with disdain about another person's choice of clothing, partner, or food I generally ask them "Why do you care?" Tonight I noticed that I am not good at practicing what I preach.

My friend Joe called me today because he had Angels baseball tickets (explanation given for my international readers and/or non sports enthusiasts) and asked me to accompany him. He actually didn't ask me to accompany him as that would have felt odd, but he did ask if I would go with him.


We drove to the stadium, parked across the street to save a few bucks and get some exercise, then proceeded to find our seat. From the time right before the game and throughout, a gentleman (not actually much of a gentleman, but trying to avoid calling names) started yelling to the players. Mind you we were in the right field bleachers five or so rows in front of the scoreboard so Bobby Abreu or any of the other outfielders could not be privy to this man's commentary. However, it was his prerogative to show his enthusiasm without using profanity which he did refrain from. I still found it unsettling that he felt these players could actually hear him from that far and if so that they were being affected by his taunts. He apparently was having a good time and the woman he was with seemed happy enough so why did this bother me so? I admit to occasionally saying words of encouragement to my favorite player, Ron Cey, like come on get a hit (I wasn't very original back then), but I didn't carry on a one sided conversation with him. It was more like a prayer or mantra or praying mantra (better than praying mantis), but why do I care?

Except for when he yelled so loud that I might have suffered ear damage or when he called a black player boy for not diving (doubt he would have yelled boy to a white player), this didn't need to affect me. However, I managed to get more and more annoyed as the game went on. He may have been bothered by the fact I sat there throughout and only let out an occasional modest cheer, but I doubt it. I like having a mellow experience and need to recognize that that is not what I will get at a ball game. If I want mellow I need to attend the symphony (except when they perform my favorite which is the 1812 overture by Tchaikofsky) or an Air Supply concert. Maybe, there is a bit of me that is jealous of his uninhibited boisterousnes, but I wish I was better at letting it slide off my back into a pool filled with marshmallow creme and coconut shavings.

Later on in the game which was 2 to 0 from the 3rd inning on and finished that way many people began to leave. This started from the 7th inning on and this was a close game! I can see if it was a blowout or something, but other than that, why come to a game and not follow through with it. You have made it almost to the end, why not see it to completion? Again, I realize that I am there for the experience of seeing a game live. As long as there are thousands of fans still there it still will have intensity and excitement. The people that stayed need my attention more then those that have abandoned their seats to be clogged in traffic with others who left early. I wish I knew a simple clear cut answer. I think I may need a personal paradigm shift to see things in a more positive light. I have had 40 or so years of practice at seeing the negatives of what's there; it will take more than one night of revelation to see the positiveness of each and every experience.